Category Archives: Profound paradoxes

christmas presents children spoiled

Christmas and Spoiled Children

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My friend tells a story about a Christmas where she opened all her presents. She got exactly what she wanted but saw her brother’s presents and thought they were better. She told her parents that it wasn’t fair and she should have gotten more. Her dad’s response is perfect.

She was seven years old. Her father calmly told her to pack her presents up. They were going to take them to people who would appreciate them. He wasted no time. They left the same day and she received nothing that year. Continue reading →

How Not to Ski with Preschoolers

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Growing up, my parents took my two siblings and me skiing most years. Being the youngest, I started early– at age three. It was no small feat since we lived in Illinois. We did it on the cheap—which involved my parents picking us up from school then driving 14 hours through the night. We would save money by not staying in a hotel and emerge from our powder blue mercury station wagon ready to ski when the slopes opened at 8 am. Oh, and we’d have meals of broccoli and summer sausage in the car to avoid stopping. The ride was fragrant.

I don’t know how my parents did it. After taking my 3-year-old skiing last January, I have a new reverence for them. Our experience went like this: Continue reading →

beauty, childhood, motherhood, media, objectification, female, femininity, toenails, eyelashes, value, sexualization, #womennotobjects, #redefiningbeauty, #killingussoftly

Is Femininity Defined by Eyelashes and Toenails?

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Published earlier today on huffingtonpost.com

“Mommy, I know it’s a girl on TV when she has big eyelashes,” my four-year-old said confidently during a reluctant potty break from her favorite show.

She’s totally right—though men and women actually have the same eyelashes when they wake up in the morning. Girls, both cartoons and real, are portrayed on television with a signature trait: eye makeup. Even our beloved baby Margaret on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood has enhanced eyelashes when compared to her brother. And don’t even get me started on Elsa. 

It hit me that my daughter’s first identifier of femininity was, in reality, fake.

I started thinking about all the other steps a typical woman takes, beyond what a typical man would do, just to get ready for the day. The list goes something like this:
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The Mother Induced Gender Wage Gap

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I was talking about the gender wage gap with one of the professors in my Masters of Social work program last week between classes. To be there, I had arranged childcare, driven 45 minutes, paid a lot of money in tuition, and felt entirely rushed to return to my 2 and 4-year-old as soon as possible. So, every second must be extremely productive.

I’m not a great person to be friends with since I’m only on campus for class and then I dart home to help with dinner, bedtime, or begin to tackle loads of homework.

Back to the conversation with this professor: I was informing him of some reading I did on the impact of pornography on the sexualization of girls and women in society and how some argue that sexualization/ objectification is partly to blame for the gender wage gap. If you think about how women are portrayed predominantly as sex objects in all forms of media, then it makes sense that women wouldn’t be taken seriously in big decisions or for leadership roles. Objectification takes away person-hood and makes a person an object for another person’s pleasure. And nobody would make an object the CEO. Continue reading →

I Ruined My Child’s Life Over a Tortilla

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I’m part of an online mom’s group where we share parenting struggles. We all have 4-year-olds and there’s a trend emerging among our kids lately. They are saying things like: “You are the worst mommy ever!”, “I hate you mommy!” and “I wish Jessica was my mommy and not you”. Thanks for being so awesome, Jessica.

It’s both hilarious and heartbreaking considering all that a parent does for their kid only to get verbally slapped in the face. Continue reading →

Why I Chose to be a Stay at Home Mom, SAHM, parenting

Why I Chose to be a Stay at Home Mom

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I was going to write about my choice to stay home mom a few years ago when it was fresh. It’s a decision many new parents struggle with. But then I got scared. What if I offended someone? It’s such a touchy topic. So the idea died, as most of my half-written drafts do. Continue reading →

parenting, old homes, buying an old home with young kids, momlife

How Buying an Old Home is Like Having Children

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We just bought a home that was built in 1920. It was dreamy, had character, and was the only one we liked in the time frame available.

We’ve slept in this house a total of three nights and I can’t help but think about how owning an old home is like having children. Here is why: Continue reading →

should I have more children? how do I know when to have more children? Should I have more kids? how many kids should I have? what's the best number of kids to have?

To have More Children or to Not have More Children

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When in the ‘window” of opportunity for having children, there is an underlying pressure to know if we’re done or if we should plan for one more. Keep the baby clothes or give them away? Put the crib in storage or Craigslist it? Continue reading →

motherhood, moms, moms are heroes,

Are You Just a Mom?

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The decision to stay home after having my first child was incredibly challenging. My job wasn’t family friendly and I don’t have family nearby to help. My daughter had colic, and she needed me. Still, I deliberated until the last-minute. And I questioned my decision almost daily during my first two years of motherhood.

When telling a friend (who is a VP at a fortune 100 company

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Why I Asked My Husband to Thank Me for Dinner

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My home is bugged—by toddlers. It’s easy to forget, because like most mothers, I’m exhausted from everyday kiddo demands by the time evening hits. Cooking dinner with a 20 lb. baby in one arm while my toddler tries to pull my pants down, threatens to fry my last ounce of civility.

Continue reading →