An attempt to record my words and thoughts for about an hour on a normal Wednesday morning.

“No you can’t eat that cereal when you’re sick it has too much sugar”. What should I do with the kids today, should I take them to that new soccer thing? But it’s kind of expensive. But I think it could be really good for my daughter to learn some soccer skills when she’s young because what she learns now will be so much more natural later. But will she even like soccer? I don’t think she likes it. Maybe it’s just me who wants her to like it. She likes ballet. But I don’t want her to turn out to be one of those dancers who shake their butts in front of the entire world with a belly shirt on. But I should let her dance in a healthy way if she likes it. But what are we going to do this morning if we don’t go to the soccer thing? “Don’t play in the sink and don’t leave the water on.” “Nice drawing honey! I said don’t turn the water on!” “I don’t know where the glue is.”

Well if I send her to preschool then we only have a few weeks left of these free mornings. But that school is kind of pricey and I could hire a great babysitter for BOTH kids for the same price. Then I could actually have a break for the same price. I have to hurry up and decide, she is supposed to start next week. “Oh honey did you hit your head? I’m so sorry! Ouch that hurt didn’t it. You’ll be OK.” But I should put my daughters’ needs before my own, right? Or not? I mean you can’t pour from an empty cup, but am I really empty? She really craves the social interaction and when we go to the park she plays with some random kid and never sees them again and she asks about them for days. And my son has never had time with just me, so at least he will have a few hours a week.

“HONEY! If your brother is screaming ‘NO’ then you need to stop tickling him. Give him some space”. Preschool would give her consistency. “Do you need a diaper change?” Maybe the school is worth the money. I looked at six other schools and didn’t like something about them. This one is as close to perfect as I’m going to get. Where’s my coffee. How is it cold so fast. I just heated it up two seconds ago. I’d better get my son away from the microwave because it can cause brain cancer or something. “Hey buddy swallow your spit. You have drool all over your shirt”. But she will probably go to a different school in the fall because this other school has preschool for two-year-old’s and I want my little guy to get into school too and go the same time as my daughter since I will need a break to do my homework and I don’t want to have to drive to TWO schools.

“Don’t touch the outlet.” “I’m sorry honey we can’t go to Grace’s house because she’s in preschool.” see I should really send her to preschool. Every kid her age is in school. But what better ratio than 2:1 at home with me? Some say mom can teach her the most. But I just don’t have the energy to do some project with putting shaving cream all over the house and cleaning it up.

“Ok you haven’t pooped yet but that’s a lot of pee sagging you down let’s change your diaper.” Shoot I forgot to put the laundry in the drier and his blankets are in there and it’s almost nap time and he won’t sleep without his special blankets. “Hey kids you can watch TV for a few minutes. I have to go to the basement to do laundry then we are going to eat lunch but first you need to clean up these puzzles”. I wonder if they understood what I just said. What am I going to make them for lunch? I think I need to pee. I’ll go after their napping. “Oh ok now you poop right after I changed your diaper”. Wait he didn’t actually poop. Must be gas. “Hey don’t pinch me!” Ok now he pooped for sure. “Hey don’t touch your bottom, I’m cleaning the poopoo and we don’t want to get it on your hands. Dude you just got poop on me!”

“Ok you two can watch TV again for five minutes; I need to get those blankets out of the dryer.” This is the only preschool that is truly play and discovery based. All the preschools here are so academic, don’t people read the research that says preschoolers really need to play and have social interactions and not sitting at a desk doing letter tracing? But what if my daughter is the only one who can’t write letters or read or something when she gets to kindergarten? Maybe that’s what everyone else is afraid of too, their kid being the only one who can’t do something so they push them before they’re ready to save them from feeling like a failure when they’ve just begun. Maybe I should start teaching her to write. But she won’t listen to me, it will be like pulling teeth. Am I over thinking this? I need some chocolate.